Here's another episode of writing but this time, it's about love. Again, it's my personal thing, don't get too serious if you have a boyfriend(s) or girlfriend(s) cause I don't really care, you are in my blog and I can say anything and everything that I want. Get back to the point, love. I've been observing myself and everyone else love life and I'm pretty sure, my love life is complicated as ever. So, I'm not here to talk about my other significant or what cause I don't have one but I just wanted to say that nowadays I feel like the 'love' that we feel and tell each other is actually a cheap love.

First of all, if you still have virginity until now, if you never had any relationship before, girl or boy, kudos. A big applause to you because you handle you dignity right. Now you must be wondering why I said like that. But before that, know that this is actually an opinion from my view and most of it actually came from my love life. Okay don't you think your love is cheap when you keep calling other people darling, honey, or maybe love when they are actually not your lover. I wanted to say that it is exceptional for the same gender but since LGBTQ is spreading all over the world right now, so I won't say that. I actually did call my guy friends sayang (darling) a number of times and I feel that the nicknames, that we supposed to use for our other significant or lifetime partner is not worthy anymore, or in the other I can say those words are cheap and meaningless. It really is, unfortunately.

Another thing that made me uncomfortable with myself is, I liked too much men or boys. Come to think about it I think I just ditched my friend to another level. This would be hilarious thing ever happen to me if I really ditch him. But I think I'm ditching him right now. The truth is I've been liking men for entire 7 years. If you ask me how many men or boys I had crush on before, I would say it countless. Starting from my freshman year until now, I never stop liking men. I mean, I wish I could take a break from liking or loving people. That guy that I told before, I told him that I loved him. But now? It's zero. Usually a person will go from zero to hero, but me -- from hero to zero. I felt guilty all over me right now because I don't know how to tell him that I don't have any feelings for him now. But thank God I told him that I used to tell people that I don't want to get married. I'm at a phase where I physically and mentally not attracted to any boys or girls. I'm natural now. I'm not going to have any kind of relationship as my priority now is concerning about my GPA.